Two years ago, P. and I set off from midwestern parts unknown across the country. We were headed towards California. We made a number of stops along the way-- in Wyoming, in Colorado, in Utah, in Arizona, in Nevada, and we saw mountains and deserts and strange red rock formations neither one of us had ever seen before. When we got to the ocean, at last, we found a nice beach, got a marriage license, met with a minister, and then, June 14, we got married. It was a small ceremony. No parents, just a few friends and ourselves, barefoot in the sand and in the late afternoon just before the sun slipped down into the waves. We stayed in California for a month, studying, then packed up again and made the journey back again, which was just as beautiful, if not somewhat more rushed.
That trip and those days are still so fresh in my mind, it's hard to believe it's been two years.
The days before the wedding, I was jittery. A few of our friends had flown in to celebrate with us, and we'd gone out for dinner that night. In the confusion of deciding who was going to sleep where, a tired friend of mine got a little snippy with me. I felt terrible. And so P. stayed the night with me, the way he'd been doing so many time before, and he consoled me, and lay with me, and somehow made everything better. The next morning I was perfectly calm. Serene, even. P. still talks about it. We married just the way we wanted to, and it was perfect.
Months before that, we'd been planning a wedding in my parents' home town. Our vision and theirs just didn't resemble each other at all. Parents wanted their So. Baptist church and their minister which was particularly hard for P., who is not at all religious. The reception would be held in a stuffy location downtown. The night my father started asking me about colors, we decided to elope. We tried inviting my parents, but they didn't want to come. They gave us two choices: the wedding the way they wanted it, or eloping (which they were fine with) without them. I'm still a hurt they didn't want to come, but I'm so relieved we decided to do things our way. When I think back on our wedding, I have lot of good feelings about it, and that freedom that came from stepping away from the parents was part of it.
Tomorrow I'm flying in to see them and my brother, his wife, and my exceedingly cute niece. I'm nervous, as I always get with these parental visits, and this ache of wedding past I still seem to be carrying with me doesn't help things. But P., darling P. (who just stepped out of the bathroom, naked and spiky-haired to check on me) will be here when I get back, and there's really no one better to be coming back to.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
returned
quite a busy vacation, with lots of driving. p. has recounted it all in Spanish on his blog & so I won't do it again here, but I do want to share a few highlights.
1. Oswald's Bear Ranch. We saw a number of adult bears napping under trees, then got to play with two of the adorable cubs. One sat on my lap, leaned back, looked straight at me. They're adorable animals, but strong! And they seem very intelligent, too. If they didn't grow, I'd love to have one as a pet.
2. P. & I rode a tandem bicycle for the first time. We rode it around an island-- literally traced the entire circumference. Beautiful scenery, and since no motor vehicles are allowed on the island, we were able to enjoy most of it entirely on our own. Splendid.
3. Saw a huge ship travel through the narrow Soo locks in Sault Ste. Marie, passing from the Huron into the Superior. Did you know that Superior is 7 meters higher than Huron? In the locks, they have to lift the ship to send it on its way. Apparently watching the ships go through is a past time for some of the locals as well as the tourists. Lots of loud teenagers there... can you imagine? Why? When the boats pass through sooooooooo slowly?
4. Camping. And though we've discovered that P. is not a camper, we had some bright and shiny moments. I loved how easy it was to wake up very early. At first light, I was awake. The first morning after we camped, we got an early start to the destination we were aiming for. The second, I got in a walk by myself through some dunes near the lake while p. slept. We made fires, cooked, pitched tents, skipped rocks, hiked a bit, and told each other stories once it got dark. P. invented a character called Peekaboo Crane.
5. Drive through some marshlands at a State park whose name I can't remember. Saw loons and swans and eagles nests, and families of ducks! 3 sets of 2 adults (mom and pop?) and 3 or 4 ducklings on family outings. Marshland is beautiful.
We're home again, and it's nice to have returned here, though the rest of the summer will be incredibly busy. I'm teaching a course near the end of it, and before that, I've a lot of writing to do. My dissertation director hooked me up with an editor and seems there's some interest in publishing my manuscript... which means I've got to get that thing finished. It's all there, but revision is always an agonizing process for me. When I was on the job market, I revised those blasted cover letter and diss abstracts nearly every time I sent out an application. It was exhausting. I have a hard time letting go.
P. leaves to teach at a math camp July1, so hoping we'll enjoy each other some before he's gone, too. He jokes that it's very fortunate that there will be no real camping at mathcamp. No sleeping bags, no tents, and hopefully fewer mosquitos.
1. Oswald's Bear Ranch. We saw a number of adult bears napping under trees, then got to play with two of the adorable cubs. One sat on my lap, leaned back, looked straight at me. They're adorable animals, but strong! And they seem very intelligent, too. If they didn't grow, I'd love to have one as a pet.
2. P. & I rode a tandem bicycle for the first time. We rode it around an island-- literally traced the entire circumference. Beautiful scenery, and since no motor vehicles are allowed on the island, we were able to enjoy most of it entirely on our own. Splendid.
3. Saw a huge ship travel through the narrow Soo locks in Sault Ste. Marie, passing from the Huron into the Superior. Did you know that Superior is 7 meters higher than Huron? In the locks, they have to lift the ship to send it on its way. Apparently watching the ships go through is a past time for some of the locals as well as the tourists. Lots of loud teenagers there... can you imagine? Why? When the boats pass through sooooooooo slowly?
4. Camping. And though we've discovered that P. is not a camper, we had some bright and shiny moments. I loved how easy it was to wake up very early. At first light, I was awake. The first morning after we camped, we got an early start to the destination we were aiming for. The second, I got in a walk by myself through some dunes near the lake while p. slept. We made fires, cooked, pitched tents, skipped rocks, hiked a bit, and told each other stories once it got dark. P. invented a character called Peekaboo Crane.
5. Drive through some marshlands at a State park whose name I can't remember. Saw loons and swans and eagles nests, and families of ducks! 3 sets of 2 adults (mom and pop?) and 3 or 4 ducklings on family outings. Marshland is beautiful.
We're home again, and it's nice to have returned here, though the rest of the summer will be incredibly busy. I'm teaching a course near the end of it, and before that, I've a lot of writing to do. My dissertation director hooked me up with an editor and seems there's some interest in publishing my manuscript... which means I've got to get that thing finished. It's all there, but revision is always an agonizing process for me. When I was on the job market, I revised those blasted cover letter and diss abstracts nearly every time I sent out an application. It was exhausting. I have a hard time letting go.
P. leaves to teach at a math camp July1, so hoping we'll enjoy each other some before he's gone, too. He jokes that it's very fortunate that there will be no real camping at mathcamp. No sleeping bags, no tents, and hopefully fewer mosquitos.
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