Of shrews and promise-keepers

Defining image of the weeked: lazy, lazy, lazy morning in bed with P, the 2 cats, & a white fluffy comforter. Of course I've been in bed with said p, cats and comforter before-- in fact, it happens daily (or nightly), but something about that morning was different. Friday marked the end of 2 long and strenuous weeks for p, and it may well be that the decrease in stress level is palpable. The morning itself seemed to sigh with relief. Something of that feeling remains with me even today, too.

P. is working on his dissertation, still, in mathematics. And watching him these past few weeks has rekindled some of my own dissertation stresses, even though mine is completed and deposited. I've yet to get copies to my adviser and committee, though P. very graciously had them bound for me last week. The mere thought of contacting my adviser again, even to say "Here's my dissertation-- thanks for everything" makes me anxious. She's one of the giants in my field, and I admire her work more than I can say. I knew when I asked her about directing my thesis that she'd be tough, but I had no idea how emotionally draining the experience of working with her would be. Near the end, part of what inspired me to finish the diss was just to be free from interacting with her... but even now that's not really the case, is it? I'll still have to approach her for recommendations if I move on from this job, and I probably should work on maintaining friendly contact with her well before then.... but it's hard. I don't think anyone has ever had so much power over my own self-image as she did. When she approved, it was a rush. When she got annoyed, frustrated, or snippy, it was devastating. P. has more even-keel advisers, praise be. At least he has that.

(edited to add that the transition from my thesis director to shrews is fortuitous, but wasn't intended)

Shakespeare was okay today, even though some students are still not reading (or bringing books to class, grrrr). I put them in groups and we had a few mock debates on the relative merits of wife and servant beating according to some early modern preacher-folk and as represented in The Taming of the Shrew. One of the groups was given the task of creating a 12 (or whatever) step program for wife-taming as the character Petruchio might have written it. It goes something like this:

Step one: Learn to see your wife is an object. Be master of what's yours.
Step two: Show up badly dressed to your own wedding. Come late. Curse in church. Embarrass her as much as possible. Leave before she has a chance to enjoy the reception.
Step three: Beat your servants (hard!) in front of her. It's a great way to make your wife aware of how strong you are without having to lift a finger against her.
Step four: Watch your wife (or have someone watch her) constantly. You may not be your brother's keeper, but you certainly are hers.
Step five: Starve her at will. Make her come to depend on you for sustenance.
Step six: Deprive her of sleep. This will make her less likely to resist you.
Step seven: Refuse to let her dress fashionably.
Step eight: Justify doing all of the above because you love her and want what's best for her.
Step nine: Keep using these strategies until you can get her to agree that the sun is the moon, old men are young virgins or whatever other whimsy you might desire. The important thing is that she no longer thinks for herself or questions your authority.

A fun assignment, but also a bit creepy. If this teaching/studying lit. stuff doesn't work out, we could all go on to write for the Promise Keepers. Here are a few gems, gratis NOW:

Promise Keeper Tony Evans stated "I am not suggesting that you ask for your role back, I am urging you to take it back. There can be no compromise here."

A young woman at a recent "Chosen Women" Rally, a female counterpart to the all-male Promise Keepers, stated "Our job is to submit to our teachers and our Professors...even if we know they are wrong. It is then in God's hands."

More disturbing yet? At the end of today's class, a female student approached me with some worries she's having about her first paper. She's concerned that her ideas may seem a bit "unconventional" by the rest of the class's standards-- she believes in defined gender roles, she says; she likes being dominated. So I tell her that her own views on the subject shouldn't really affect her ability to do well on the paper-- that it's asking her to describe the ideology she sees at work in the poem (The Rape of Lucrece), not to defend her own. She seemed satisfied with that answer-- but, woman! It'll be interesting to see what she comes up with.